Bad Wolf Howling
by TiaKisu
Summary: The Bad Wolf creates herself, now, in his future. – My little take on why the Doctor returned at the end of "Rose". Contains a hint of romance, if you squint.


_Don't ask me where this came from. The idea just was there and I liked it. I don't know if that has ever been done before and I apologise if it has. _

_I hope you'll enjoy.  
TiaKisu :)  
_  
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___**Messier 81 **is a spiral galaxy in the constellation of Ursa Major_.

_additional 05/08:__I have just tweaked some details in this fic. No major changes, only little things like choice of word or an additional/altered sentence where I felt the flow wasn't like it should be. To those who have already read and/or favourited 'Bad Wolf Howling': be assured that it's still the same story and that re-reading it isn't even necessary. Still, I apologise dearly for any inconvenience caused._

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**Bad Wolf Howling**

The TARDIS juddered deprecatingly as the Doctor stirred her to a halt. She knew where he had taken her and she did not like the destination at all. He only came here when he felt the worst and needed something to take his mind off whatever weighed him down. Only it never did him any good. And it certainly wouldn't help him this time either.

The little human had chosen to stay at home, with her own kin, and while the TARDIS had carefully prodded him to return and ask the pink and yellow girl once more her Lord had simply slammed in the new set of coordinates, forcing her into the vortex despite the protesting howl of her engines.

"Never ask twice" was all he had given her as an explanation while he had flicked another lever, rejection and disappointment woven too deeply into his words. Staring darkly at her Time Rotor, he had not allowed for any further discussion, blocking her from his mind rather successfully and otherwise ignoring her. Eventually, the TARDIS had given in to his demand, taking him to the third moon of Del'Naar where bars were plenty and people usually without a name. Exactly the kind of place the Doctor normally avoided.  
However, this current set of body and personality sure seemed prone to the allurements of such sectors, stubbornly insisting that out of the two of them he was the one to decide where they would go.

The TARDIS herself, of course, had quite a different point of view on the matter but she knew this version of the Doctor well enough by now to not vex him any further.

The brave blonde girl turning down the offer to travel with him had come unexpected, affecting him more profoundly than she would have anticipated and even the sentient ship had to agree that it was a pity. She had liked the little ape.  
There was something about her that had felt strangely familiar, something eternal and yet agone and she would have loved to find out what it was that swirled around her timeline like a golden mist – hiding from the sensitive vessel as if it was not yet time she saw behind the veil. But unless she got her Thief to return and give it a second try she was left to guessing and speculating; and advanced as she was neither of the two were to her liking. Still, for as long as he was in his current mood there was no hope of getting through to him and so she just let him open her doors, coaxing a creaking noise out of the wood like structure as he swung them.

In one last half-hearted attempt to reason with him she let her engines whir, producing a high-pitched sound that had to be unmistakable to him.

Indeed, for a moment he froze, his hands clenching while he frowned. He understood what his precious ship tried to do, knew she didn't approve of his behaviour at all and yet he couldn't really find it in him to care. He felt miserable and all he wanted was to forget. His crimes, and his foolishness. And while he couldn't really get drunk he might just manage to get himself drowsy if he tried hard enough. Right now, to him that sounded as good an option as any other – certainly better than floating aimlessly in space and indulging in his pain.  
At least, here on this moon there would be no one to reject him. He had enough credits to make each and every bartender on the forsaken satellite his best mate if he so desired, probably would too considering his current plans. And maybe that's what he should have offered _her_ too then, he suddenly thought grimly.  
Maybe she would have come if he had paid her, hungry for this illusion called money as all humans were. But then... was he really that desperate for company? He'd done well enough without a passenger, hadn't wanted to have anyone else onboard ever since he entered the War so why did he even bother thinking about what could have made her come along? There were reasons why he travelled alone, reasons that he'd better not forget about and while he turned his head to scowl at his ship's console he forced them to the forefront of his mind, remembering them. Each and every single one, telling himself that Rose was better off without him anyway, living that normal life that her species usually craved. Complete with beans and toast and telly.

He didn't know why he had asked her anyway, almost couldn't remember what had made him utter the words in the first place. He'd run into her on several occasions, granted, but he'd done so with others, too, and yet he hadn't felt the need to tag them along. He could have just dropped her off and said good bye; would have spared himself the embarrassment, too, of being told 'no thanks'. But then he recalled how she had looked at the Millenium Wheel waiting for him to catch up, how she had saved his life while he was unsuccessfully trying to calm the Consciousness down; remembered what it had felt like holding her small hand in his while they had run into the unknown. And just like before he suddenly found himself longing for this: a hand to hold, someone to turn to and share the path with. In a moment of aberration he had obviously decided she could be the one and he had felt his hearts beat daringly against his chest as he had asked her – feeling so oddly nervous about something that in his previous incarnations he had never given much thought to.

Only to be turned down.

But what was it that made her be so special, why did her rejection hurt so much? It wasn't like she'd been the first one to refuse yet this felt different. And he didn't like it one bit. The pain tearing at both his hearts, the emptiness - he had enough of this in his life already, he really didn't need anything to top it all off. May his ship protest as much as she liked, he was determined to put an end to this and maybe, if he just managed to get tipsy enough, he'd even find the courage to lock the memory of the pink and yellow ape and rid himself of the burden that she was becoming to him.

It was a good plan, a sensible plan and he didn't even listen to the low trill that his TARDIS released as he just walked away and closed the doors behind him unceremoniously.

.

The town of Aash'Ka was small and dark and dirty, with houses that clearly were in need of renovation and streets that had long since stopped being passable for machinery that had wheels or touched the ground in any way. Not that any of those who came here would care, and neither did the Doctor. He was trudging the curved lanes, melting into the shadows that were cast by the buildings around him, his mind still churning while he got closer to his desired destination. But another few turns and he'd be at the _Swivelling Trump_, a rather ridiculously named place but exactly the kind of thing he now needed; he could even already hear the agitated chatter of humanoids who'd had one too many, or not enough yet and he was intent on following suit.

Just when he was about to round the next corner though and follow one of the smaller side roads he stopped dead in his tracks, looking straight ahead, baffled.

Before him and blocking the path stood a dog. Not a dog – a wolf. A wolf very alike to the specimen that had inhabited the prime Earth for many long millennia. It was terribly out of place here, and in his way.

Stepping to the left he attempted to avoid her, not in the mood for nuisances like that but she instantly mimicked his move as if intent on not letting the Time Lord pass. With her keen ears pricked she stared at him out of dark soulful eyes, obviously observing him. The creature's calm breathing had her bright fur shift, the almost light brown hue turning to something paler as dim sunlight flickered alongside the flanks.

For a moment the Doctor stilled, undecided about what to do. While he didn't really feel like putting up with such odd behaviour there was something about her, apart from her insolence, that was undeniably puzzling.

It wasn't exactly uncommon for Earth species to be found distributed all throughout the universe but he had never seen a predator like her in this part of the Messier 81 and certainly not at this point in time. Of course, she could always be a pet or just left behind by a passerby - he and she would certainly have something in common then, in a sort – but still her presence was a most unusual occurrence that might just be worth having had a look at. After all, had he not sought to find distraction? And this couldn't possibly be any worse than spending the day in a dodgy bar.

His considerations came to an abrupt halt though when suddenly he became aware of another peculiarity.

He blinked and angled his head a little, attempting to get a better view on the beast.  
How did he know it was a she?

There was nothing about her that gave her away, the important parts not in his line of sight and her not speaking up. Yet, for a reason he could not fathom he knew. Saw it in her gaze maybe. That gaze that had seemed almost black at first but which now, as he had a closer look at it, appeared to be more of a warm hazel hue – almost like whiskey, not that he enjoyed the drink much. But the colour, he had seen the colour before. Only moments ago actually, when eyes of exactly the same shade had told him good bye.

The resemblance was stunning, even to him. The structure of a mammal's iris was like a finger print, unique. No two beings had exactly the same eyes; there was a tiny difference, always. A little bit of green in midst the blue or speckles of amber melting into the brown – subtle hints that betrayed their owner.  
Zygons were probably the only species to have ever mastered copying those complex patterns to a certain degree of perfection but it seemed rather far-fetched to assume that this was what he faced. And that left him with the question of how it was possible that he was looking into _her _eyes right now.  
There was quite obviously something going on and since he had nothing better to do he resolved to find out what it was.

His mind thankfully accepting the newly found riddle he slowly crouched low, bending his knees and bringing his head at rough level with the beast's without startling her.

"So, who are you then?" he mused quietly, speaking barely loud enough for the creature to hear him while he reached into his jacket pocket to retrieve his sonic. He didn't expect her to answer so when she did, he almost jumped.

"I am the Bad Wolf" she said but her muzzle didn't move.

"Come again?" He sounded ridiculously confused, even to his own ears, watching her twitch slightly.

"I am the Bad Wolf" she repeated, now tilting her head as if she expected him to know her. And maybe he did.

For once too taken aback to reply, the Doctor just observed her for an instant, staring into those brown depths that were so utterly fascinating because impossible. Unable to tear his gaze away he studied them, pale blue meeting dark brown until suddenly a glimmer of gold hushed across the void of her pupils and drew him even closer.

She merely flicked her tail, her breathing steady as she withstood his heavy scrutiny.

There it was again. The moment she exhaled her eyes glowed with the light of a burning sun – bright and terrible, and frighteningly familiar.

The very second that he recognised it, that shine, he recoiled in disbelief and his hearts sped up, beating against the confines of his ribcage. It couldn't be.

"_What_ are you?"

His voice was low now, its tone very nearly accusing and yet she almost seemed to smile. The corners of lips she shouldn't have bent upwards, the image of her muzzle blurring as the glimmer in her eyes blazed to blind him.  
Soon her whole face was set afire, the fur turning into a golden sea that surrounded her like fog. Looking at her hurt, just like watching a dying star did, and at last he had to raise his right arm to shield himself from the assault.

For a long second all there was was the glow of a billion flaring suns washing over him and reaching out with hands that could not be seen but that singed his skin. It took what felt like an eternity because there was time woven into the brightness, too, for the light to die down so that he could dare to look at her again.  
Only that when he did she wasn't anymore what she had been before.

"It's you" he croaked out before he was even aware her image had registered in his head, his eyes now wide and a colourless grey.

It was _her_, all pink and yellow and human. The one being he had wished to forget. She stood before him unmoving, with her gaze on him and not on him at all. She was different, so very different - in a way that was intangible and yet so obvious it shook him to the core.

"I am the Bad Wolf," she repeated once more as if it was the only thing she knew to say, but finally she continued "I create myself. Now. In your future. Are you afraid?"

To him it seemed there was the entire universe resonating in her words, a sound that was as crushing as it was eternally beautiful to hear – and it scared him.

"What have you done," he trembled but his voice was made of steel, "What the hell have you gone and done?"

He didn't even bother to answer her question. Amidst the raw terror that cursed through his veins at the notion of what must have happened, what _would _happen someday down the road, anger began to boil and it showed in how the words dripped from his mouth like venom. She however wasn't fazed.

Ignoring his outburst she just dipped her chin and this time her focus truly was on him, in this place, this very minute.

"You have to go back. You have to go back and ask her again. Me. The one I was. You have to ask me again."

The way she said it he could tell it wasn't a request. She wasn't asking, she was summoning him and it had a shudder run down his spine.

"No."

"No?" She sounded surprised, her golden gaze losing just a bit of its brightness.

"I won't do that."

Squaring his shoulders he forced himself to take no notice of the flash of hurt that travelled her face, took a step backwards and set his jaw. He'd had no intentions of returning before; he certainly wouldn't do so now. Not when he knew what it would lead to, timelines be damned.

"But you must."

"_Must_?" he suddenly growled, for some reason wishing she would at least flinch, "I must? I am a Time Lord, the last of them. I _must_ do nothing."

Deep inside he could feel the Storm stir, centuries of battle and blood stoking the rage that came with the realisation that yet another soul was to perish in his wake. A soul that was too precious, too young to be lost.

"You cannot-"

Before she could even bid defiance to him he silenced her, all but roaring "I said no!". He was furious and he let her see it, unleashed his dark on her until he saw her waver, her glow diminishing till all that was left was the human beneath. And eyes that shimmered with the trace of unshed tears.

The sight, against his will, stole his thunder immediately.

"She'll look into the Heart of the TARDIS if I do."

He didn't even know just why he explained it to her. He didn't have to - didn't _want _to do so and still he tried to make her see, reasoned with her. As if she mattered. As if she was important.

"She'll burn. _You _are burning" he clarified, somehow willing her to understand. He couldn't let that happen. Not to her. Not to anyone, no matter the consequences. He couldn't bear yet another life on his conscience. It took an endless moment but finally she seemed to comprehend.

Her expression softened then, a sadness appearing in her eyes that tore at his hearts in more ways than just one and which made him swallow hard when he heard it in her voice as well. "You will die."

"Everything has its time. Everything must die", he countered dismissively, allowing this blind fear for her that he didn't even know the origin of to fuel his resistance. His own fading wasn't much of an argument to him anyway. What would it matter if the last of his kind burnt up? It would at least be a good death if it meant that she'd be spared. She though seemed to have a different view on that.

"But not yet," she stated and for a heartbeat silence settled between them like a heavy blanket. There was a new flicker of gold in the hazel before, at last, she continued. "You can follow this path, never look back if you want, leave her where she is and unwrite time. Unwrite me. Give her a life that you think she deserves but that will break her."

Regarding him, her eyes were ancient and yet so young - eyes that he felt himself get lost in, might he fight it or not. He was drowning.

"I am but a thought now, the beating of a heart that has no shape, bearing all that another holds within. I create and destroy, give life and I take it." The shine was returning with every word uttered, the girl falling silent to make way for the Wolf, terrible and beautiful as it was. "I am forming the future and building the past and I have come to you, because this is where I must begin. You will die and so will she, before your time, if you abandon me, as will the universe itself. There is no morrow if I cannot breathe."

Her golden gaze bore into him and his every muscle tensed in response to it. She was not trying to plead; she was giving him no choice.

"You know I am real", she whispered with the voice of a thousand souls and still, beyond it all he could hear _her_.

"She will die anyway, is that it then? No matter what I do she'll lose the years she should have. Is that what you're telling me?" Unbidden there was anger flaring deep within again, caused by the helplessness that tainted him like poison and he saw no point in holding it back.

But she only looked at him calmly, shaking her head upon his conclusion. "You didn't listen, Time Lord. There is a future in the flames but never in the dark."

"What?" Left to stare at her blankly, he was unable to follow her. She was talking in riddles, the deity filling her mind and choosing the words that he couldn't make any sense of.  
"But you said," he tried but never finished what he had begun. "You've got the entire vortex burnin' within you; nobody can survive that." His mind was working with the utmost effort, thoughts chasing each other at light speed as he tried to figure her out. Whatever was happening where she was, it would obviously influence her, cut her timeline short if he she didn't become who she was now. But if he returned for her, if he heeded her – It just wasn't possible. "How can she live when she becomes you?"

"That is for you do decide."

There was but a slight tilt of the corners of her lips and the missing beat of his hearts.  
The implication of what she revealed to him cut through the air like lightning and it sent him staggering backwards.

There was only one way he could think of, only one possibility how she could be saved from her fate. If she hadn't already fallen to ashes, if she was withstanding time and space in its entirety long enough to appear to him there was one thing he could do. The only option.

He could burn in her stead.

And he was doing it, w_ould _be doing it. He could see it in those eyes that suddenly were hers again, and moist.  
His lungs stopped breathing when at last he understood.

"But why?" He almost choked when he voiced that out, dreaded the answer like nothing else before and yet he had to ask; had to know before he could make the choice. "Why did you look into the vortex?"

"Because I want you safe, my Doctor."

She was just the girl now; that same astonishing human who had declined his offer not even an hour ago, and she was hurting. She looked at him and she let him see everything: her defiance, her fear, her beauty. Her secrets. All that he was to her and everything that she would once become to him. He very nearly came adrift as her truth sank in.

Rose, this pink and yellow, clever little ape had done this for _him_. Not for the Time Lord, or the legend –Gallifrey's only heir – ; not for the one who could save the universe or whatever would be left of it.  
She had done it for the one who meant more to her than anything else: for the man he was right now. In this body, with all the hurt and all the dark. The idea alone broke him.

"I won't let you die." There was no room for doubt, none at all - it was a promise and he felt an almighty wave of determination consume him when she nodded, a smile on her face because she knew that he would be keeping word.

"You won't."

It all fell into place then, the grin that conquered his mouth a visible sign for the almost unbearable relief that ran through his very veins. He didn't even question the feeling anymore.  
She would travel with him, accept his offer; would even like the life he had to give her_, _become his salvation. And he – he would protect her, already did so. He would burn for her, gladly, and he wouldn't ever regret it.  
It was more than he could have ever dared to hope for.

"I won't remember this though, will I? When I go back now?"

If he was being honest with himself he already knew the answer to that so it came as no surprise when she shook her head gently.

"No."

Then, she suddenly stepped forward and her gaze softened while her voice brimmed with eternity for one last time. With her right hand outstretched she reached for him, placing her palm on his left temple once she stood right in front of him. Her touch, he noticed, was feather light.

"I am time itself," she whispered, her thumb stroking softly across his skin, lovingly "I command the sun and the moon and the stars. You will forget until you see me thrive again."

Numbly, he lifted his own left hand at that, his brain following a command he hadn't consciously given until callused fingers closed about her small ones in a motion that felt long-practiced but was all the same brand new.

"I will miss you." This time it was her saying it, not the Wolf, and it was his undoing.

Wrapping his arms around her, he drew her close, the Goddess, the child, his fantastic Rose.  
Already he could see her timeline melt into his own to twist and entangle with it, disappearing from his view because he could never dare to fathom his own future. It was the most peculiar of sensations and he tightened his grip on her just a little further, aware of how she clung to him in return, knowing she would lose him despite the sacrifice she was willing to make. But not forever, it wouldn't be forever. Just a change, just a new face, a new adventure. That was what he would be giving her.

He would take her to see the stars again and they would be _brilliant_ together.

"I'm coming to get you." Having no idea how those words of all came to his mind he just breathed them, finally releasing her slender frame to look at her eyes once more. Already they were beginning to glow again, a golden hue seeping into her gaze and growing to envelop her in blinding light.  
He fought to watch her as long as he could, not missing how her mouth curled in an almost divine smile before she vanished in a sea of white and a last whisper travelled the air like the sound of chimes.

"I'll be waiting."

.

He blinked, a little disoriented, his vision strangely blurred and his skin tingling. Bewildered, the Doctor looked around, searching for anything that was off, his senses on high alert. But all he saw was a little cub - right where the wolf had been, with eyes similarly dark and warm.  
The tiny thing looked at him, its tail twitching as if in anticipation and its ears turned into his direction. It was probably the wolf's youngster but where had it come from? And where had the mother gone?

Leaning down a little he puffed out a breath of air, frowned when he felt it in his bones that in fact minutes had passed since he had seen her - minutes that he had no memory of. But the moment the thought occurred to him it was already gone again, swallowed by a hazy mist of golden time; leaving him untroubled as if there was nothing odd about that and her in the first place.

"Searchin' for your mum are we?" he asked good-naturedly, his earlier bitterness strangely forgotten, but didn't even wait for the little one to draft any sort of reply. "Always troubles with domestics. She can't be far though, just had the pleasure." Making a shooing gesture, he straightened up again and muttered just a little impatiently. "Go on, hurry up."

And as if to agree the pup suddenly yowled; wagging its tail much like a dog would do.

Without his will or consent the Doctor felt a laugh be torn from his throat. He didn't even know why but he liked the little bundle.

"Well? Better catch up with'er. No time like the present." The smirk on his face was broad and infectious if the cub's behaviour was anything to go by but then he froze, hearing his own words echo in his head.

_Time._

He hadn't told Rose about it. She had a family, friends – how could she possibly know that she didn't have to leave them behind? That she could come see the stars with him and be back for dinner? He hadn't even mentioned that a TARDIS could travel in time. Oh, he was so daft.

"Fantastic!"

Not finding it within him to wonder about the sudden sense of ecstasy that made itself at home in his hearts as he found that maybe there was still a chance that she'd come along he beamed at the cub and in rush of glee reached down to ruffle the bright fur on her head.

"Thanks, mate. You really helped."

While she pounced on her front paws as if equally excited he spun around, his previous plans instantly discarded. The _Swivelling Trump_ could wait, another few centuries for all he cared. His new destination was the TARDIS, and then Earth, London, 2005. Briefly he thought about helping the little wolf to find her mother first but when he looked back across his shoulder she was gone, probably heeding his advice and already on her way. Just like he should be.

In his newfound enthusiasm he never noticed how, as he jogged off back towards his already waiting ship, just around the corner the cub stood. Smiling, because he did return to her.


End file.
